What's Been On Your Calendar?

What’s Been On Your Calendar? The ‘Ask A Question’ Edition – Part A

Retirement Reflections

Welcome to February’s ‘What’s Been On Your Calendar?’ In the interest of a challenge and trying to do something a bit different, I am starting this post with this short paragraph and a single photo of my calendar for February. The ‘something different’ part is that I invite all readers to ask a question about my last month. I will answer each question (within reason) in the comments. Then (insert miracle here), I will use these questions and answers to make Part B of this post. At least, that’s how it will work as I imagine it now. Ready to play? Great! Please ask me a question about this past month. Don’t be afraid to get creative!

Over to you.

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Co-hosts:
Sue
Jo
Debbie

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Published by Retirement Reflections

Prior to retirement, I lived and worked in Beijing China for fourteen years (Middle School Principal/Deputy Director at The Western Academy of Beijing). Leaving international life behind, my husband and I retired to Vancouver Island in June 2015. To document both this transition and our new adventures, ‘Retirement Reflections’ was born. I hope that you enjoy reading these reflections, and will be willing to share your own.

101 thoughts on “What’s Been On Your Calendar? The ‘Ask A Question’ Edition – Part A”

    1. Hi Sue – That’s a terrific question…for which I didn’t have an automatic answer. But I didn’t need to reflect for too long to realize that the people were my favourite part of my recent trip. The Mexicans we met were all incredibly friendly and welcoming and had a great sense of fun and humour. The fellow tourists we me usually went quickly past small talk into deeper, more meaningful conversations. I was, unfortunately, a bit stressed out on this trip due to a health issue for my parents that emerged on the first day of this trip. When I chatted with fellow tourists, it was incredible how many of them had been in (or were currently in) very similar situations. Their advice was very healing.

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    1. Hi, Anabel – You have great eyesight and you have read those names correctly. Qualicum Manor and Arrowsmith Lodge are senior facilities located near me. Richard, myself (and my friend, Deb) checked them out so that I can try to be as proactive as possible for my mother’s potential future needs.

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      3. When I spent time in Qualicun as a youth, the Manor was a classy hotel, but I see from a Google Search that it’s not the same building or location.

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      4. Hi, Bernie – Crown Mansion is a first-class hotel in QB that was built in 1914 and converted into a hotel in 2000.. It still operates as a hotel and restaurant today and suggests a bygone era of grand, gracious country estates. It’s original owner, Brigadier General Noel Money, played a key role in the early development of Qualicum Beach. I love exploring our areas rich history. Thank you for prompting this discussion on our local history.

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    2. Hi, Bernie – I was pretty sure that’s the building you meant. I’ve been there recently and I can still forget it’s exact name! I’m glad that you are all caught up on your blogging now. I am currently striving to do the same!

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  4. how did you convince your parents to go to seniors housing? Did they resist going? Or did you take control of the situation. Is it a private pay? Lèvel of care?

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    1. That’s the million dollar question with a myriad of different answers depending on the particular situation. In my parents’ current case, they will be moving from their own home to an Independent Living Retirement Apartment. The apartment comes with three meals a day, biweekly cleaning, as well as some health services available onsite. My husband’s brother and his wife have lived there for a couple of years now, so that piece has made this upcoming move easier for everyone. Still, it is a very big move.

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    1. I think what helped my parents to make this decision was open communication, helping them to explore different options and them then making the final decisions of what they wanted. I’m not sure if it was a strategy, but I kept asking myself, ‘what help from our sons would Richard and I want in this situation?’

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    1. Hi, Mona – That was only five nights ago, and I honestly don’t remember. I neglected to realize that it was a full moon, so I am disappointed about that. In previous years, Richard and I have done the Coldest Night Walk to help money for local charities. Last year, we began to do the September Parkinson’s Superwalk instead. Richard’s younger brother, Bob, is affected by Parkinson’s, so this makes the walk very personal for us. Both Richard and I are dreadful at asking others for donations, so one fundraising walk a year in a good maximum for us!

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    1. Hi, Terri –

      I am absolutely loving the diversity of these questions already.

      If you go to Kelowna in the winter, I suggest spending some time at Big White Ski Hill. It’s 56 km/35mi away but well worth the drive. If visiting in the summer, I would definitely recommend spending time on Okanagan Lake. Hiking the defunct railway tracks at Kettle Valley is also highly recommended. If you plan a trip there, let me know your dates. I am in Kelowna often and would love to meet up with you there!

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    1. Hi, Leanne – That’s an excellent question to which I have a wonderful answer. This year in Parksville, we only had snow for a few days in January and a tiny-weeny bit that melted before it hit the ground two days ago. Okay, so this answer is only wonderful if you do not consider the climate change behind it. But we did have a very mild winter here…at least so far!

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      2. Yes, I was going to tag you in that FB and say ‘this video is for you, Leanne.’ Strangely enough, that snowfall lasted for as long as it took me to take that video (mere minutes). An hour later, when Richard and I went for our walk, there was literally no snow in sight. The roads only looked liked they had been rained upon! :D

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    1. Oh, yes! And since today is still February (yeah for Leap Year), I’ll use tonight’s dish as an example. After all of the traveling we did earlier this month, my husband and have been trying to get back on plan with our nutrition. Tonight we had Portobello Pot Roast. It proved to be a wonderful meatless version of the traditional roast meal. Sometimes, just sometimes, you can have your cake and eat it too! Photo here: https://www.instagram.com/p/C39AlNrRVOO/

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      2. Yes, you had to be watching live to hear Alicia’s voice, as smooth as ever, suddenly and sadly crack as soon as she began belting out the chorus lyrics. Not surprisingly, the official recordings of this performance now omit that part.

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    1. Hi, Miriam – You are very observant. My husband and I got home late from Kelowna on Saturday night, went to a Superbowl Party with friends on the Sunday, so had a very restful day on the Monday. It was very much needed.

      I didn’t realize that you were a lead singer. You are incredibly talented!

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      1. I’m glad you enjoyed your restful day, Donna. I used to sing in professional oratorio and large choirs. The last time I was in a group performing Messiah was before Covid. Right now I’m not singing in any groups but I lead the singing with the residents in this facility. The churches don’t have choirs anymore.

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  14. What a fun and fabulous idea Donna. You really are creatively clever. I can see that you’ve had a very busy month, but I’m wondering did you manage to find time to fit in any exercise. It can be challenging during those busy times.

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    1. Hi, Jennifer – I do exercise every morning (or almost every morning). My secret is that upon waking up, I immediately head to my yoga mat and weights. That way, I begin exercising before my mind is fully awake and able to talk me out of it. I do a mixture of weights and cardo, usually for 45 minutes each time. I also try to get in at least a 5 km walk each day but with our winter weather that part has been hit and miss!

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  15. Hi Donna, this is an interesting idea. I saw Lincoln’s birthday on the 12th. I wondered if that is a family member or the US president? Then I wondered if you’ve read, or hear, of the book, Lincoln in the Bardo. I started it but couldn’t follow it. It has a very strange and unique style. If I knew more about Lincoln it would probably be easier.

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    1. Hi, Robbie – Awesome questions. The calendar was a gift from my friend and cohost, Sue from Women Living Well After 50. ‘Lincoln’s Birthday’ was preprinted on the calendar and does refer to the former US President. I did read ‘Lincoln in the Bardo’ for one of my book clubs. I did stick it out and read the whole thing, but it definitely was not a favourite!

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      2. Hi, Robbie – Abraham Lincoln’s was born on February 12, 1809. I would not have been aware of it at all if it was not preprinted on my calendar. US President George Washington’s birthday has traditionally been celebrated as a federal holiday on the third Monday in February. Increasingly, the holiday has become ‘President’s Day’ an occasion to celebrate the birthdays of both President George Washington and President Abraham Lincoln.

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    1. Hi, Debbie – Having readers ‘do all the hard work’ made me smile out loud! I was definitely going for a highly interactive post, but your version sounds much more fun! This past February 24 (the celebrated ‘coldest night of the year’) was actually not that cold, 6C (42.8F). The coldest temperature ever recorded in our immediate area was -20.C (-4F) on December 30, 1968. Now that’s cold!! <3

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    1. Hi, Derrick – Great question. I didn’t actually count but I think that there was only one tourist who we spoke with who was American. All the rest of the tourists that we met, and who identified their nationality, were Canadian. There were many Mexcian tourists around as well, but they were younger, and speaking Spanish, so we unfortunately did not have many conversations with them.

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  19. Pingback: 5 Favourites from February – Natalie the Explorer

  20. Donna, I have enjoyed reading all the questions and your answers and particularly admire anyone who displayed xray vision and picked up on the fine details of your month.

    I noticed a couple of questions about your mom’s situation, and having worked through an array of tough decisions regarding my MIL for the past year, I am interested in knowing more about how it is affecting you. Every situation is different, but, I suspect some of the challenges and roller coaster emotions that we went through, (are still going through) are similar to your experience. I found it cathartic to write about, but we are all different, and I completely understand if this topic is too personal or if you are not ready to share your experience. Take care.

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    1. Hi, Suzanne – Thank you for your kind comment, question and for reaching out. I have always been incredibly close with my mother and she has been a solid rock for me thorughout my life. I am now trying to do the same for her. It is often difficult to know when to step in and when to hang back. I agree that every situation with aging parents is both similar and unique. Reading about your experiences with your mother-in-law has been very helpful to me.

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      1. Donna, Malcolm felt exactly the same. As an only child he was completely devoted to his mom and always had her best interests and her continued independence in mind. We remained diligent and kept a watchful eye while letting things unfold. It was tough at times, but we are satisfied that we did our best. I’m sure you are doing the same. Hang in there.

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      2. Thanks so much Suzanne. As difficult as it can be to watch our parents age, viewing it from a different angle, it is an immense blessing. My father died when he was 45 years old and I was 17. Being able to chat with my mom each night on the phone when she is 93 is a gift that I try not to lose sigh of.

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    1. Hi, Bernadette – Wonderful question. I remember the events of that day a little bit differently than Richard does.. I remember that our local weather had been very mild and dry, right until Richard’s golf day, and then it was very wet and rainy. Richard and friends still golfed but did not golf for as long as they normally would have it had been dry. And although Richard said he felt good on the golf course, I also remember him saying the next day that he was surprisingly stiff and a bit sore.

      But…when I shared your question with Richard today he said, without hesitation, that it was a wonderful day, he felt great while golfing and great aferwards too!

      Ah, the power of memory!

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    1. Hi, Ally – I’m not sure why, but I quite liked having the extra day. I’m not sure that I did anything different. Our granddog, Nala the Malamute, is currently staying with us. So it was: Workout, Muttley Crew Dog Walk, Coffee Shop, Grocery Stop, Meal Prep in Slow Cooker, Blogging, Reading, Dinner, Chatting on Phone with Mom, More Reading and Bed. All in all, a fairly typical day!

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  23. I am hoping you pull this into a post. I didn’t read thru all the comments so this might be redundant. Is the home exchange about an upcoming trip?

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    1. Hi, Bernie- Richard and I have been Home Exchangers since 2007. We have done well over 50 home exchanges to date. We usually stay in a Home Exchange when we are in Kelowna and did so earlier this February. The Home Exchange notation that you saw on my calendar was a Zoom Call with a family who will be staying at our home this coming July. Every home exchange member does it differently, but we always do a Zoom or Skype call before confirming an exchange.

      About pulling these Q and A’s into a Part B post — that was my original plan. But I am totally loving how these questions are unfolding and I am not sure if I could improve on this at all.

      Stay tuned!

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  24. Your calendar looks very full. I can’t think of an original question to ask so, as a retired teacher, I’ll ask you what grade you would give to February? Were you glad/sad to see it go and why?

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    1. Hi, Margaret – That is such a great question and a very difficult one to answer. Not one to shirk a challenge, I decided to rate each day and then come up with an average. That was stilll tough but I eventually came up with 19 B’s, 5 C’s and 5 A’s — so definitely a ‘B’ average overall. I’m not sure that this reflects some of the deep lows of this month, or the big successes, but I’ll definitely take the B! :D

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    1. Hi, Lydia – Kelowna is the city where my parents currently live, and near where my husband was born and grew up. It’s located in the interior of British Columbia, 500 kms from my current home on Vancouver Island. Its greater area has a populaiton of 235,473.
      My favourite thing from this past month has been the moments of relaxed family time where we simply share a laugh and enjoy each others comany. Priceless!

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    1. Hi, Janis – You are never late to the party and hopefully there are more questions to come. I am quite enjoying them, and they are making me think! ‘Coldest Night of the Year’ is an event organized across Canada where participants walk to raise money for local charities. Since 2011, the Coldest Night of the Year has raised over $75,000,000 across Canada in 190 Canadian communities.

      According to my good friend, Dr. Google, the coldest day in Canada was on Feb. 3, 1947 in Snag, Yukon. At a brisk -63 C, the temperature is still the coldest recorded in North America. Brrrrrrrr!

      TS Eliot has famously stated that ‘April is the cruelest month,’ but I believe most Canadians believe that that honour rightly goes to February, which is typically our coldest month of the year. During the month of February, 1979, the average overall temperature in Eureka, Nunavut was -47.9 C. That makes me incredibly grateful for current Vancouver Island temps, even the coldest ones! <3

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  27. Hi Donna, I love your creative idea to make this post interactive. I enjoyed reading the Q and As in the Comments so far. My question: What are your 5 A’s in February? (I’m referring to your answer to Margaret above). Thank you for hosting #WBOYC. Have a wonderful March!

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    1. Oh my goodness, you are all such great question askers and you are making me think, think, that!
      In trying to approach Margaret’s question, I assigned a letter grade to each day of the month. My five A’s went to: February 1, 9, 14, 16, 22. Respectively these days were: our last day in Mexico, successfully helping our parents tie up some important decisions for an upcoming move, Valentine’s Day (mushy, I know), and two relaxing outings. Mostly, each day this month had a mixture of some highs and some lows, but those were overall pretty nice days!

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  28. How fun, Donna. I love this approach to #WBOYC. Of course, I have to start with your trip to Mazatlan, since we have that in common. What was the highlight of your trip? Then question 2, did you cook for the Valentine’s Day breakfast, or did you go out, and what did you have? It looks like you had a very busy February. Here’s to a healthy, happy March!

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    1. Hi, Christie – Thank you for your questions. Mazatlan offers so many highlights that it is difficult to choose. One thing that we did on this trip and loved was to walk from our hotel to the Lighthouse, 20 km return trip! It was a beautiful. almost meditative walk each way and the lighthouse was well worth seeing up close. If you have not been, I highly recommend scheduling it in for your next trip!
      For Valentine’s Day, I bought Richard breakfast at a local restaurant and Richard made us Ricotta Rigatoni Al Forno for dinner with Key Lime Pie (not homemade) for dessert!. Breakfast photo below.

      https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10159308974851887&set=pcb.10159308974981887

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  29. I was going to be really rude and say something like “seriously, what IS the deal with the superbowl?” but instead I’ll ask what was on the menu (which is a much more Jo thing to ask.

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    1. Hi, Jo – These are perfect questions. I am happy to answer them all. 

      First, What’s the big deal with the Superbowl? It’s the championship game of the NFL season. In Canadian terms, it’s like a Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. But it’s winner takes all, not best of 7 series so the hype is there from the start.

      And because it’s such a big event, they get a big name start halftime performer, and because it’s got the biggest audience of at home viewers, it’s also a time to unveil big budget, big hype ad campaigns.
      Here’s an example of one of the ads:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8ZYgb8Osek

      I couldn’t find the Australian equivalent, but I did find The Aussie Guide to Understanding the Superbowl, so you’re not the only one asking this question.

      And finally, most important of all, the SNACKS! Our hostess extraordinaire (aka Kathy) prepared the entire spread herself. Veggies and Dip, Gourmet Cheese and Crackers, melt in your mouth Ribs, chicken wings, awesome Chilli with all the fixins, and several kinds of dessert including profiteroles. Oh and wine of course, lots and lots of wine!

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      1. Ok, on reading this I think it’s easier to explain cricket to an American than NFL to me. Why all the padding? Why all the stoppages? Heavy sighs. I’d go for the snacks though – and the wine.

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      2. Hi, Jo – More great questions. The padding has evolved over the years because of the severity of the hits allowed. Virtually most hits are allowed.

        The clock is only on during each play. In between plays they have 30 seconds to figure out the next play – that’s why you see them huddle. The clock is stopped then. In addition, the teams get two times out during each half.

        Hope this makes sense! :D

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  30. And just when I thought I had a busy calendar, I looked at yours Donna!!

    My question…”how is it so neat?” the calendar!

    Mine is a BIG space for each day and hang on the fridge and is, for some days activities outlined in colours for Denyse, B and others and it’s B for busy looking. I am also an infants teacher at heart so colours..but left handed messy too.

    I hear you on how hard it can be with being on a holiday and worried about family. Many moons ago for us, but it can be very unsettling. Glad you found others’ to share with too.

    Thank you for the link up.

    Denyse

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    1. Thank you, Denyse, for your very kind comment. I also suffer from Retired Teacher Syndrome. That contributes to some of the neatness. The other factor is that I primarily do my calendaring on my phone and then hand copy to the paper version on our fridge. That calendar is a gift from Sue @ Women Living Well Over 50.

      Like you, a couple of others have commented on the ‘busyness’ of my calendar. This has given me pause because my monthly calendars were much more full and varied BC (Before Covid). I kinda miss that, and I kinda don’t! :D

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  31. Love this. Do you keep this hanging up somewhere in your home? How big is it? Are the only one marking it up?

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    1. Hi, Antoinette – Thank you for dropping by! The calendar is quite large overall with each day’s square measuring 4 cm X 5 cm (1.5 in x 2 in). The calendar also contains a beautiful image and motivational saying, different for each month. It resides on my fridge and cannot be missed!

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  33. What a great and original idea, Donna! And by the looks of the comments, it’s successful as well. The only issue for me: I’m late to the party – as often – since I don’t have that much time to read blogs anymore. So, I saw part 2 is out already. I’ll have to continue on to that post. 🙂

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  35. Hi Donna – I give up – I think I started answering this part, then looked something up and came back to B … so my ‘answer’ is on B! This has been a fun approach … and everyone seems to have enjoyed it – cheers to you and Richard – Hilary

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