Gratitude, Guest Posts, Reflection

Second Acts & Self-Reinvention

Way back in January, when threats of the ‘new Coronavirus’ barely registered for most of us, Leanne Le Cras asked me to write a guest post for her blog. Her focus was on what positive things I had been doing in my ‘second act’ (aka, life post-50).

Little did I realize at the time, that my answers to her questions would have striking implications for the current changes in our reality today.

In my reply to Leanne, I wrote about our thoughts and experiences being dynamic, always in flux. I wrote about the importance of trying new things, knowing some of these attempts would stick while others would be only temporary. I wrote about endless challenges and possibilities. Taking smart risks, staying physically and mentally fit, engaging in new learning were among my priorities. I concluded my list with the advice to “expect the unexpected…and be prepared for wild cards.” Little did I know at the time how foreshadowing these words would become.

At the core of my post, I spoke about being open to reinvention. I also wrote about the importance of building and nurturing friendships, community and family.

Never before in my lifetime have two mere months brought forth such sweeping changes both worldwide and personally. As we stand together on shaky ground, what is most important to each of us now shines through with extra clarity.

The pictures that I sent to Leanne for that post include myself with my family in various configurations. These people mean the world to me. I am grateful for them every single day. As most of us are now experiencing physical distance from friends and family, it is essential not to let ourselves get trapped in loneliness and disconnection. The feature photo is a recent Zoom video catch up that Richard and I had with our sons, DILs and grandchildren. The picture below is with my book club and me earlier today.

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Yesterday I had a video catch up with a close blogging friend in Australia. “Why have we never done this before?” we asked each other. I also had a video tour of a friend’s newly remodeled home on Facebook Messenger. With a little creativity, these social gatherings do not need to end.

For tomorrow, I have another video catchup scheduled with a few other bloggers. Although these gatherings may look very different from what they were previously, at their core they are the SAME SAME…with a touch of reinvention!

Please stop by and check out Leanne’s post here. I look forward to seeing you there.

 

 

105 thoughts on “Second Acts & Self-Reinvention”

  1. Hi Donna it was so lovely catching up yesterday via Zoom. It is also amazing how your words written a few weeks ago ring so true now during this crisis. the current situation will certainly bring some changes to the way we view life and what is important to us. Hopefully that will be a positive change. I’m off to Leanne’s to read your words of wisdom. Take care my friend xx

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  2. How quickly life has changed for all of us. Your thoughts and words are spot on here. Who would have thought “reinvention” wound take such a dramatic turn. Those connections are more important than ever aren’t they. Take care and stay well Donna. I’m off to read your earlier post. xx

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    1. Hi, Miriam – It is so lovely to see you here. Your posts always deeply inspire me. Our connections with others right now are essential. It would be far too easy to let our physical isolation slide into lonliness and despair. I love that this corner of the blogging world helps to prevent that!

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  3. Hi Donna! I agree that we would all be better served to prepare ourselves for the changes that are sure to be coming. I believe we will all (mostly) survive but I do think reinvention will be necessary. As you so beautifully demonstrate, the very best part of life can continue to grow as we stay connected with those we care about. I love your statement, “expect the unexpected…and be prepared for wild cards.” ~Kathy

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    1. Thank you, Kathy – When I mentioned ‘wild card’, I did not have anything this ‘wild’ in mind! Even in the early stages of this outbreak, I believed it would be more like SARS (which I had experienced while living in China). Sadly, that belief was nowhere near reality. (SARS had 8,437 reported cases and 813 reported deaths worldwide).
      I am glad that you and Thom are well. Stay safe!

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  4. Hi Donna – things certainly have changed big time in a couple of months – in fact in the last couple of WEEKS! I had to re-write Monday’s post about stress because I wrote it before CV-19 was a “thing” and it has certainly added another layer to my life. At the same time it’s made me rethink a lot of what I considered “normal” and “needed” and to pare back further, settle down in my home, and enjoy being an introvert for a while.
    Thanks so much for being my guest today – it’s lovely to have you on my blog xx

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    1. HI, Leanne – Thank you so much for having me as your guest on ‘Midlife Symphony’. I greatly enjoyed it. Your quesitons and prompts made me think…as did the guest posts that came earlier. See you back on your site soon!

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  5. My life has changed in ways I could not have expected. It is surprising how much you miss chatting to your friends. It. Now everyone takes the trouble to say good morning when out on our daily social distancing walks. People have been colouring rainbows and putting them in their windows with the message that the brightest rainbow comes after the darkest storm. I hope it is true.

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    1. Hi, Anne – I so hope that the thought behind the rainbows comes true. It is encouraging that so many people are going out of their way to (non-physically) connect with each other, and to share their hope and gratitude. Tonight neighbours on my small street gathered to bang pots and pans in honour of our front line workers. It is the little things that often get us through. Thank you so much for stopping by. I greatly appreciate it.

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  6. I’ve never tried Zoom, but it’s having its day, isn’t it? I’ve never face-timed either. I’m good at adapting to what is, so I suppose I’ll use them one day. It’s funny you mention self-reinvention, ’tis a concept I’ve embraced my whole life. Kindred spirits and all that. Stay safe, be well.

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    1. Thanks, Ally – Yup, I believe that Zoom has truly become “a thing”. Two weeks ago, I had never heard of it. Since then, I have had six video meetups, and I even have a “pro” account. Who said old dogs can’t learn new tricks?! Warm hugs to you and Z-D.

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      1. Hi Donna, You always manage to put a positive spin on everything! Can you point me in the right direction. I have been trying to get onto Zoom with no luck so far. I have a number of things that have stopped because of the self-isolation and I notice you had a book club meeting. How did you get everyone on board and functioning? I also have a memoir group that we need to connect with. Any suggestions on how to get a meeting going with a group that may not be so tech savvy or even reticent to try something new? Cheers

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    2. Hi, Fran – I’m relatively new to Zoom, but have now used it with various sized groups and people of varying ages and computer ability levels. Both of my bookclubs are now using Zoom, and both groups include some who are not keen on technology. For both groups, the host recommended us giving it a try, and we all did 1:1 or small group ‘practice sessions’ first. In all cases, participants were relieved how well everything went. There are also many online guides and tutorials that can help, but many of these becoming overwhelming. The Lion’s Club has a written tutorial that is long but well segmented, so it is a useful resource. https://www.lions105ce.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Dummies-Guide-to-Zoom.pdf
      Let me know if you have any other questions about setup or usage. I would be pleased to help.
      Hope all is well for you and Walter.

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      1. Donna, thanks for the information about how to use Zoom. It’s good of you to share it here. Will check it out.

        [I’ve no idea who Fran and Walter are, but I appreciate being included.]

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  7. No matter what’s going on in the world around us, we always have control over our relationships with those we love. You are certainly a fine example of that, Donna. You’re a blessing to many. Thanks for sharing your guest post. ❤

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    1. Hi, Jill – In tough times it is so easy to feel out of control. But you are right, we do have a choice in how we respond. And that response can change everything. Thank you for your very kind and generous words!

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  8. Yes! This!
    I’m with you – I’ve used FaceTime and Messenger videoing before, but not the extent I have been doing it this past week! And I also ask myself why haven’t I been using it more, with more people??? And I’m looking forward to trying Zoom later on today. Everyday I try to focus on the silver linings (there have to be some!) and this technology and utilizing it more is definitely one of them.

    Cyber hugs,

    Deb

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    1. Hi, Deb – I’m so sorry that you have had such an emotionally-charged week. I am glad that it has been getting better. You are right about technology. The once highly criticized, and even more highly addictive tool, has now become a social saviour. It’s truly incredible how quickly things change!

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  9. I’m a technology nerd so love all new things to bring us together. FaceTime brings my grandbabies up close and personal with me several times a week.

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  10. Hi Donna, even though my son lives here in Plettenberg Bay, we will not see him – it’s so weird. But he stopped by earlier and we had a chat – at a distance. We can skype or phone or what’s app, this last is what we mostly do ,. It’s quite an amazing paradox that in our aloneness we are united, against that invisible enemy. In exile, the diaspora or whatever it is, yet wonderfully connected using technology. We’re in total lockdown from midnight, though a few stores will be open for essential foods (can go only to the closest one to home). One may have their shopping examined by ‘authorities’ on the street if it comes to that. Thank you for your post Donna … keep safe, take care …

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    1. Hi, Susan – Being separated from our children, grandchildren, parents and family and friends is the most difficult part for me. I greatly appreciate companies like Zoom that help connect us…at no charge!
      BTW – I could not get your son’s song out of my head after I heard it! That video made my day!

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  11. Just goes to prove we are always up for learning and doing something new.
    Thanks for the post and being a guide.

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  12. Hi Donna, I like the layout of your Zoom screenshot. So far, we have been using Face Time and Video Chat. Zoom is new to me. Wow, on the “expect the unexpected!” Well said on “stand together on shaky ground.” I am heading over to Leanne’s site now. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. xx

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  13. So very, very true. In my “granola” days, I used to bad mouth technology, and even as I aged, I grumped about it from time to time. No longer. Although I am well aware of the bad things that social media and the Internet bring, the good things make up for it. Your post beautifully illustrates this. Imagine how it would be if you couldn’t connect with your family and friends. How isolated and lonely you would feel. Onward! Stay well, be safe.

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    1. Hi, Laurie – I love your phrase about your “granola days”. That conjures up very visual images! I guess technology is like most things. Its potential for good or evil all depends on why and how it’s used.

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  14. Thank you, Donna, for sharing your wisdom. Technology has enabled us to reach out worldwide in the comfort of home. Reinvention is fun and now is always a good time to embrace life and keep on learning. I’ll go to Leanne’s blog shortly. Stay safe and enjoy your online socials!

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    1. Hi, Natalie – It is incredible how worldwide communication has changed over the years. In 1973, I made a three-minute phone call from Rome, Italy to my home in Ontario, Canada. That single call cost a fortune (at least to 15 year old me). Times have definitely changed!

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  15. I’m going to try Zoom! I’ve had 3 folks recommend it for gatherings in last 2 days… so I will jump in and try it. And yeah, one is Sue’s planned call. It’s 5 PM for me…. thinking I’ll do it with wine. 🙂

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  16. I’ve reached for the good old fashioned telephone to connect with people, especially those that live alone as I think “when did they last talk talked” to someone.
    I’ve been semi retired for 14 months and have not had a routine. I actually kind of fought against it as I just wanted them to seem like days off when I wasn’t working. Now with my layoff and staying home I am finding a great routine. Slow learner // should have read your earlier blog post about routines a long time ago. Oh well live and learn.
    Stay safe. Stay connected.
    Bernie

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    1. Hi, BernieLynne – I love that you are reaching out to people who do not have many other people to talk to. That kind of thoughtfulness is the core ingredient to what helps us get through tough times.
      Can you please resend me the link to your blog? I have tried several times to get in but have not been able to do so.

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  17. I had a conversation recently with a friend who pointed out the vast difference between surviving and thriving. Clearly you are in the category of ‘thriver’. Your values on what is important in your life provide the foundation to “go boldly”.

    Bravo!

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  18. I’ve never heard of Zoom, so I’m going to check it out, especially given that only yesterday members of our family were talking about doing a video call every Sunday until we can all meet up again for Sunday dinner. Thanks for the idea, Donna. This is such an easy way to keep in touch, yet it seems many of us don’t think about it.
    Stay safe.

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    1. Hi, Hugh – You can find out more about Zoom at Zoom.us. It is a quick and easy download. Best of all, it’s free for up to 40 minutes per call. But you can hang up and call right back to get another free 40 minutes. Good luck! Family dinner together sounds perfect!

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      1. Thanks, Donna. As an Apple user, I also found ‘House Party’ which we set up today with the family. It works a treat, so we have Zoom in reserve. I’ve no idea why we’ve never thought of doing this before. 🙄

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  19. I too am very grateful for social media at this time of isolation. I will be connecting with writer friends of mine in Canada via ZOOM on Sunday and another friend via Skype on Monday. This is what will keep me sane. A great post, thanks. Stay safe.

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  20. I find myself coming across items from “before” and feeling nostalgic for the good old days (like a couple of months ago). Receipts from favorite restaurants we can’t go to for now, magazines with lists of upcoming events that never happened, half completed projects that won’t be done for a while because of a missing item that isn’t available right now. It’s hard to not feel sad about these. But then, I reach out and connect with loved ones and my flagging resolve is bolstered again. I’m looking forward to using Zoom for the first time!

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  21. Great, Donna. I know my kids have been using Zoom with their friends and our daughter is using it to teach from home. I use FaceTime now with my sister and it is so nice. I’m hoping that I can get some typing business from all these zoom meetings. Someone must need a transcript of the convo, right? Cross your fingers for me.

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  22. Talk about foreshadowing indeed, Donna. Then again, life is always full of challenges and changes. The human kind is flexible and adapts. But, let’s hope that this new reality is only a temporary one. We do find ways to make things work, even staying in touch, but nothing beats meeting each other in person!

    That being said, Skype and email (and blogs and blog comments) is how I usually communicate with friends and family. It does work. Think about those days before the internet. Now, more than ever, I’m grateful for inventions (and internet). 🙂

    Take care, you two, and enjoy all your connections – far and near – in this new way.

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  23. This is just another positive example of learning new things when we are older, Donna! Glad that you can all connect through Zoom. I had a faculty meeting this morning on Zoom. It was my second time using it in two years, but it was effective. Some faculty are lecturing to their students with Zoom, I’m not there yet, but I can adapt. My classroom is set up for recordings, so I’ve been able to use last semester’s lectures. We think our college-age students are resilient, but I can tell you they ARE NOT. I’ve read several e-mails where students have had to move home, uproot their lives, etc and are so stressed out with these changes, they can barely function. I’ve been lenient and I always answer every message. We are all victims and need to take care of everyone that asks. The saddest story is that one international student from Korea, who is in my online class, and has taken the time to get English tutoring to write her assignments, told me she had to move back to Korea. Why? She fears for her life! She says so many people give her the “stink-eye” (my words) and she has had some threats. We still have a lot of work to do in the US to expect people to release their unfounded prejudices. Very sad.

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  24. One good thing to come from this is how creative we are now being about connecting and finding new ways to do so. As an aside, I laughed at your cake decorating because that would be me too! I am HOPELESS with anything that involves a piping bag…

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    1. Hi, Diane – I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling depleted. These are definitely challenging and frightening times. You are always so wise and thoughtful. I look forward to each of your posts with eagerness. Stay well!

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  25. Have to say, it makes me laugh. The very technology that has been accused of eroding our social connections is saving our asses now 🙂

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  26. You’ve inspired me here, Donna. A sister of mine has been after me for two years to do some video chats with her, and I’ve refused because I just find the technology to be uncomfortable. But we do live in separate states, and I had to cancel a trip recently because of corona. So I think I’m inclined to finally do it, thanks to your own activities. Good on you for staying to as regular a schedule with people as you can. We’ll somehow get through this madness. – Marty

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    1. HI, Marty – I’m glad that I could pass on some inspiration. Go ahead and book that video chat with your sister. My guess is that you’ll feel much better afterwards…and that you won’t find the technology to be that uncomfortable. (To be honest, on Zoom, I’ve hardly noticed the technology at all.)

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  27. Yes, we all need more lighthearted “stuff” to chat about and read. Thanks for smile. Myself, I set up a chatroom on WhatsApp for my 3 brothers and 1 sister, mostly for messages. My brothers all dislike Social Media, this was a compromise and lots of funny comments being shared about our childhood and future goings on. The grandkids and their parents skype my parents which is important.
    Take care Donna and have fun being your creative self x

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    1. Hi, Suzanne – We definitely need a good dose of ‘lighthearted’ to get us through these challenging times. Today, on a Zoom call with several friends, the sound of our laughter made me smile. I have been missing that sound for a while now!

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  28. Donna,
    I love reading the comments of your readers almost as much as I love reading your blog… and that’s saying a lot! Staying connected to family and friends will get all of us through this challenge and your readers seem to be up to the task. We spent an hour talking to our grandchildren on an Amazon Echo Show last night. First time for that. Should have been doing it long before now. Much good will come out of this most unusual time. Stay well. Joe

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  29. I guess I need to get on board with the video chatting. I’ve done one-on-one calls with FaceTime, but I’ve never used a tool for bringing a group together. Which do you use? Of course, then I would have to put on makeup! 🙂 Since I started working at home, I’ve taken a break from the business attire and makeup. I’ve quite enjoyed it, but my husband might appreciate it if I didn’t take this too far. (Don’t worry, I’m still showering daily!)

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    1. Hi, Christie – I’ve been using Zoom (https://www.zoom.us/) for these video conference calls. Their basic plan is free and works extremely well. I highly recommend giving it a try. BTW – Sue Loencaric and I recently did a video call with a no makeup rule (she was just coming back from a run). We managed not to scare ourselves or each other too badly! 😀

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  30. Great suggestion Donna. I tried Zoom for the first time with three friends the other day and it was great. We should have been doing it all along!

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    1. Hi, Anabel – I agree that suddenly ‘Zoom’ is everywhere! (As well as ‘House Party’ and ‘Join Me’….and probably several other video conferencing tools that I have missed). This past week, I’ve used Zoom to connect with family, friends, bookclub and a few other bloggers. It truly has been crystal clear and very easy to usel

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  31. Lovely post, Donna. Isn’t it amazing how technologies like Zoom are making all the social distancing and sheltering in place feel less isolating? I feel so thankful that we set my 85-year-old mom up with an iPad and FaceTiming long before the pandemic hit – especially now that I can’t just jump on a plane and go see her. I worry so much about our elderly parents and friends who are alone, especially now.

    I also love your wisdom about your second act and enjoyed reading your article on Leanne’s blog (nice cupcakes!). I’m 60 and about to retire myself in a year or so, and I’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking about how I’ll create my second act. Your advice is really helpful!

    – Susan

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    1. Hi, Susan – I’m so glad that some of my thoughts are helpful to you as you plan your own retirement. That’s exciting that it is not too far away for you now.
      And you’re right about Technology. Three weeks ago I had never heard about Zoom. Now, I have used it several times and have a Pro account. Actually, I’m off to join the Sizzling Toward 60 Facebook group on Zoom in less than an hour.

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  32. We all need to periodically reinvent ourselves to suit the new contexts and realities.
    By the way, in these troubled times, I find that there is an uptake in the number of people resorting to video calling, and even video conference calls.
    Take care.
    — bpradeepnair.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi, Lisa – Thank you for stopping by, and for your kind words. I fully agree that staying connected is the key to staying sane. Our family is having Zoom Drinks tomorrow eveing to celebrate our oldest son’s birthday. When there’s a will, there’s a way! I hope that all is well for you and The Captain!

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  33. Re-invention indeed. Although, for me, I always spend long hours in my home office writing and preparing to teach creative writing classes. I miss going to the different locations where I teach/taught: libraries, high schools, community rooms. My students and I have considered doing Zoom classes together, but I still hesitate, because in my classes my adult students write so openly and become vulnerable – we laugh, and we cry. Will that lose something, in the “air”waves? My guy and I Zoom and use facebook video with family and friends. It’s an important connection, but I must admit, I miss the hugs. ❤

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  34. I can relate to the feeling of disorientation regarding the change that swept so quickly over us. Reinvention has been necessary, and really our only choice is how we’ll manage it and with what attitude. Technology has been vital, and unfortunately, I’m technologically clueless, but I’m learning. 🙂 You’ve inspired me to give Zoom a try. It would be really wonderful to be able to visit with parents and grandkids. Thanks for the kick in the pants!

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    1. Hi, Diana – Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I’m glad that you are going to give Zoom a try. It’s been a great way to connect with our children and grandchildren, especially when they are spread all over (6 homes, 3 countries)! Although Zoom is not perfect (it’s light security is currently all over the news), it certainly has been meeting my low-level needs. 😀

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  35. Donna, thanks for for introducing me to Zoom. Since our first session on Zoom, my yoga instructor has also gone to giving the class via Zoom, and next week my book club is meeting via Zoom. It’s not quite like being there in person, but it’s a way to stay in touch with our communities. I have read your guest post on Leanne’s blog and commented there.

    Jude

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    1. Hi, Jude – It’s funny how many of us hadn’t heard of Zoom before, and now it has become a regular part of our weeks. As I mentioned above, the company has currently been receiving severe criticism over their light security setup. Hopefully, this can be resolved in a positive and timely manner. It was wonderful ‘seeing’ you recently and catching up

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  36. Donna the world really did change overnight, for the whole world. How interesting that you had just answered those questions with those particular answers and how they now ring true more than ever!

    Zoom has been an incredible technological tool that we had just discovered recently due to Ben’s work as they use it to bring people from all corners of the globe together for business meetings. We soon adopted it as a way to have a family reunion with our kids and now of course it has become more common place for so many during Corona. Being able to stay in touch in such a real way with more than one person at a time is such an asset.

    Terrific post.

    Peta

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    1. Hi, Peta – Thank you so much for dropping by. We are very fortunate as bloggers to have this extra layers of connections. Staying connected is essential now more than ever. I’ve greatly enjoyed reading of your adventures in moving to Mexico. I look forward to following your story!

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  37. You make such a good point about staying connected with those we love. Thank goodness we now have the technology to easily do so. It is one of things I find myself so grateful for these days. As you say we could never have imagined what these moths would have in store. We were to have a family holiday to Hawaii which would be finishing up today.

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    1. Hi, Sue – Thank you for dropping by. I’m sorry to hear about your postponed family trip to Hawaii. So many things on hold right now. I agree that staying connected and keeping family, friends and community bonds tight through non-physical means is more important now than ever.

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  38. We are loving zooming all over the place too Donna. I am ever so grateful for technology and the ability to use it without too much drama, most of the time! Although having said that I tried to leave a comment on this post soon after it popped up but it wouldn’t let me so I’m now back to try again! It was lovely to see you on Sue’s zoom the other day!

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    1. Hi, Deb – Thanks so much for returning to leave a comment. That is so thoughtful of you. I’m glad that all is well for you.
      Zoom has been great, but has scared many people off due to their security gaps. Hopefully they get sorted soon.
      xx

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  39. Hi Donna – I’m steering clear of zoom and just being quiet … saves me trying to work out the techie bits … and I’m quite happy being here … and seeing people in the street when I do … being in touch on the phone occasionally and via email – others have much busier lives … and I have much to do. I always love seeing everyone else and how they’re coping etc … take care – Hilary

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    1. Hi, Hilary – Thank you for dropping by. I am glad that all is well for you and your are keeping busy. Zoom is not for everyone. So far it has worked for me. It allowed me to have ‘Easter Breakfast’ with our sons, DILs and grandchildren, and also not to miss my bookclubs. Despite Zoom’s drawbacks, those were big bonuses for me!

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  40. I’m leaving a comment here because Leann’s site makes me sign into google to leave a comment. I really like your idea of pressing the “refresh” button. That’s an awesome attitude. One acquaintance told me she wasn’t retiring, she was “re-firing”, recharging her life and blasting off. I really struggled with retirement and second guessed myself for a long time; but ultimately it was my choice and I wanted to go out on top and I did. The wildcards were for me: family members who got ill and needed my help and my not spending as much time with my husband as I wanted to. It’s been a long road (I’ve been retired two years) and I had to make some hard decisions and as soon as I decided to give up my apartment and its close proximity to my Mother and 9 grandchildren, and move permanently 500 miles away to the desert and really forge ahead with retirement adventures, we were put in lockdown. I really had to laugh at the irony of the whole thing! Gotta have a sense of humor! Wildcard indeed!

    Susan Grace

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  41. Hi, Susan ; “Refiring” is a great expression for retirement. There truly are so many different options calling retirees to check them out! You are right about the value of a good sense of humour…especially during trying times like these. Just imagine how wonderful fultime Sun City will be when we finally get out of lockdown! I miss seeing you in Yoga class.:D

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