What's Been On Your Calendar?

What’s Been On Your Calendar in April? Mom!

Retirement Reflections

At the end of March, Richard and I left for Kelowna (500 km away) to help my mother and stepfather move from their home into a Senior Living Community. Our three weeks there involved physically helping with the move, setting up their new place, selling items for them, deep cleaning, disposing of waste materials, taking numerous carloads to charity shops, trying to get clear answers from health authorities, and dealing with multiple wildcards. Although it’s been an incredibly hectic and stressful time, my mother has always been 100% there for me, and I am happy to do the same for her.

Here are a few snapshots of how those three weeks went by:

From the top left, across and down: 1) The last dinner in my parent’s previous home. 2) Their new home (four pics). 3) The living room of their previous home. 4) Three weeks of sleeping on the floor of my parent’s (increasingly) empty home was as comfortable as it sounds and even less comfortable than it looks! 5) There are lots of activities in my parents’ new surroundings. Richard’s brother, Bob, and his wife, Nancy, live in the same compound, which has been a Godsend! There are always tons of activities on offer. Here’s Mom and Bob enjoying some music together. 6) Here’s Mom participating in ‘Chair Dance Class.” 7) And here’s Mom with Nancy and Bob’s adorable new family member, Zac. 8) This beautiful lady (with Mom and Bob) dropped by mom’s today to hang out with her for the afternoon. A true friend going above and beyond! 9) The mother of another friend of mine lives here, too, and has also been a great help. I remain intensely grateful for all living angels. 9) While preparing this post, Facebook sent me this picture of Mom and me from seven years ago. It was a poignant reminder to savour every present moment (there’s a reason that it is aptly called ‘present’). 10) When we returned home, our walking group buddies delivered these flowers to us. Friends do make everything better!

And That Should Be The End of Our April in Kelowna Story…But There’s More!

After our three full-on weeks outlined above, Richard and I were ready for a relaxing drive home. We were booked on the 1 p.m. ferry to Vancouver Island and left bright and early (8 a.m.), prepared for our four+ hour drive to Vancouver. The weather was great, and the roads were dry. We should make great time, right? Wrong!

Less than an hour outside Kelowna, on the Connector Highway leading to the Coquihalla (famously known as The Highway from Hell), two young German Shepherd dogs were running on the highway (which contained fast-moving vehicles). We pulled over, and Richard was able to grab both dogs. He hung out with them on a patch of land near the highway, and I called 911. While waiting for help, we spent over an hour with the dogs. They were remarkably friendly and intelligent. When Richard told them to lie down, they both did so immediately. We later learned that their owner had been killed in a car accident four days prior. These dogs, Paul and Robert (less than nine months old), are now in care at Angel’s Animal Rescue and are up for adoption. You can follow their story here. Thank you to Merrit RCMP and the team at Angel’s for helping these beautiful dogs.
(We did miss our ferry, but knowing the dogs are now safe was totally worth it).

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So that was my April in a nutshell. How was yours?
As this post officially concludes my blogging break, I look forward to catching up with you all soon.

Published by Retirement Reflections

Prior to retirement, I lived and worked in Beijing China for fourteen years (Middle School Principal/Deputy Director at The Western Academy of Beijing). Leaving international life behind, my husband and I retired to Vancouver Island in June 2015. To document both this transition and our new adventures, ‘Retirement Reflections’ was born. I hope that you enjoy reading these reflections, and will be willing to share your own.

73 thoughts on “What’s Been On Your Calendar in April? Mom!”

  1. Oh Donna, you are both superstars – helping your mum move and all that entailed, sleeping on the floor and then rescuing dogs – what can’t you do? I hope your mum and stepfather are settling into their new home and lovely to know some others who live there too. A lovely collection of photos and welcome back from your blogging break, I for one have missed you. 

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  2. Such a tough job to do what you’ve done, but at the same time a privilege as well. My heart aches for those poor puppies … Here’s hoping you have some downtime in May.

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    1. Hi, Jo – Thank you for your wise words. The three weeks in Kelowna were very tough but definitely a privilege that we do not all get. The german shepherds are now in a very safe place and I am delighted to be able to follow their progress. Even though we only spent an hour and a half with these dogs, Richard and I definitely feel a special connection with them.

      I look foward to catching up with you soon. So much to discuss and ask! <3

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  3. This sounds all too familiar and I can empathize with every uncomfortable moment you went through. I am glad your parents moved close to friends and relatives. At least they are not starting over and you can relax a bit knowing they are safe.

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  4. Hi Donna thanks so much for participating and co-hosting #WBOYC? with all that has been happening in your life. It is greatly appreciated. Moving your Mum was a colossal effort which I can understand. I remember when we had to move Mike’s Mum she had never thrown anything and I mean anything out. I hope your Mum settles well into her new home and you are soon able to take a step back from the day to day concerns. She is lucky to have you (and Richard) and I’m sure she loves and appreciates all you do for her. The dog story just rounds out what your last month has been like! Take care my friend. x

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    1. Thanks, Sue – It’s a pleasure to be back in the blogging world — even though it is still a bit overwhelming. There is so much a want to read and comment on – but never enough time.

      Yesterday was a very good day for mom, and we are taking it one day at a time. A good friend of mine will be visiting her tomorrow. More living angels! ❤

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  5. Talk about an eventful month, you two! Just as an FYI, you both are living angels as well. I’m glad your mom and stepdad are settled in a great new place, with lots of activities and friends/family around. Perfect!

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    1. Ah, what a kind and uplifting comment, Liesbet. I love reading your blog for eventfulness and adventure….but confess that I prefer quieter days for myself. I am currently curled up by our fireplace catching up on blog posts and catching my breath. I remain grateful for moments like these. I look forward to catching up on your adventures soon.

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  6. Welcome back. Told you we would all be here! I’m glad the move went as well as it could. It’s never an easy transition, and I am sure your patience and understanding were appreciated. As to the dogs , I got goosebumps when I read the story. Richard looks so at ease with these dogs. I hope they can find a new forever home. It must have been scary stopping on that crazy highway and trying to get the dogs. Never mind that you think you have life angels – you are one!

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    1. Hi, Bernie – Thank you for your very kind comment that has reminded me why I blog. Just like when one retires and suddenly realizes “how in the heck did I ever have time to work?,” reintering the blogisphere after a long break can be overwhelming, wondering if ever we’ll be able to keep up. Thank you for your thoughtfulness and your direct message the other night. You too are a real life angel!

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  7. I’m the same about my mom; she’s nearly 92 and I live close so I’m down there most days to smooth out the rough edges and do what needs to be done. She has always been there for me and now it’s my turn! How wonderful that you could help the dogs. German Shepherds are such gorgeous and intelligent dogs.

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    1. Hi, Margaret – That is wonderful that you lie close to your mom and are able to help. I keep telling our sons that what I am doing for my mom, I expect them to do for me! :D Those German Shepherds were remarkably intelligent. Once off the highway, Richard told them to “lie down” and they both did so immediately and stayed there. Completely remarkable!

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  8. Helping your mother move must have been some upheaval – and clearing out her house must have needed a lot of energy. And how wonderful you helped those dogs! Worth missing the ferry for – hope they find a new home soon.

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    1. Thanks, Barbara – “Upheaval” doesn’t begin to describe it. The move itself was an enormous undertaking while also trying to help my mom emotionally with the move. I definitely needed a twin or two!

      You are right about missing the ferry – although we hated getting home late – iit was totally worth it! <3

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  9. Rescuing parents and rescuing dogs – it was a big few weeks for you guys. Good on you for stepping up hugely in both instances. I think your parents are going to be really happy in their new place (and with their new little companion), and it’ll be one less weight in the back of your mind knowing they’re settled somewhere safe and being well looked after (and entertained!)

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    1. Thanks, Leanne – The first couple of weeks in their new place was very hard on my mom, but she seems to be setting in now. The puppy does not belong to them, but to my sister-in-law (but my mom does have visiting rights)! ❤ I hope that all is well for you!

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  10. Spending lots of time with your elderly parents is becoming more and more important, and so is keeping every photo you have of you all together.

    My first son passed away overseas earlier in April, unexpectedly and tragically. My husband flew to the funeral, but I stayed home alone 😦 During the 7 days of formal mourning, I was very lucky to see all my friends and relatives at my place; apart from the religious services, they cooked and cleaned so that I wouldn’t have to get up from the sitting position. Despite the misery, I have never been so grateful to see close friends and relations during the worst time in my life.

    Hels, Art and Architecture mainly

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  11. Goodness me, Donna…that has been HUGE. The mental and physical load of that move is beyond what some of us can tackle and you and Richard did…over 3 weeks.

    We found some of Dad’s last week’s very challenging but of course wanted to best for him. It really is a highly emotionally charged time.

    My brother and sil, along with my daughter and I did the bulk of the clean out and giveaway at Dad’s Unit.

    The people living there were also kind and organised groups to come in and take what was not wanted. Dad’s was an independent retirement place and worked well for him but he also needed more help in the last years, and wore a medic alert around his neck 24/7.

    The distance you have between you and your Mum and step Dad is a challenge but I “hope all works out”…you also cannot put your life on hold either!

    Take care and thank you for the link up.

    Denyse x

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    1. Hi, Denyse – Thank you once again for your very wise words. It is a difficult balance not putting your life on hold – and still providing the support to your parents that they need. I definitely don’t have this all remotely in balance yet – but I am striving towards it! ❤

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  12. Hi Donna – nothing like yours! It does sound as though your parents have settled in … and thankfully relatives are already in situ – that must help enormously. It’s a nightmare time … yet needs must – and with a gracious heart, thoughtfulness and positivity as generous side-characters so necessary at these times … while the centre certainly has lots going on. Lovely flowers to welcome you home …

    While the sad story of the free- running dogs … I’m so pleased to read that Richard was able to catch them before they were injured; also that they are now being looked after … I hope they find a new home soon.

    Welcome back – with thoughts as life eases up again … cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi, HIlary – Thank you for your welcome and your very kind words. It’s been a full-on time and I am now doing my best to settle back into my own home (while still staying in close contact with mom and helping to continue to get supports in place for her). I don’t have this all worked out yet — but it is in progress. I look forward to catching up on your posts very soon.

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  13. I am sure your mom was so thankful for the help; it looks like a lovely new place that they are settled into. My oldest son was a huge fan of the show Highway Thru Hell so I can well picture the road you are talking about. I hope they get adopted by a lovely family.

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    1. That’s so cool that you know the show “Highway from Hell”. In the good weather, the Coquihalla can be a lovely drive – but with any drop in temperature or rain or snow or traffic accident – it can change horribly in just an instant.

      Mom is always kind and thankful. I am very grateful for that.

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  14. I am so happy that you were able to help your Mom through this very emotional event in her life. And the dogs…., I am sitting here with teary eyes. I learned in my life that angels do walk among us and if we are very lucky sometimes they become friends.

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  15. Hi Donna,

    So happy to have you back on the island, and so sorry for all you had to go through. You are one strong woman! And thank heavens for Richard too – to have such a strong, giving partner by your side to help shoulder the load. As I am following your journey with this stage of your mom’s life, I keep remembering my mom’s last years and all her and my step-dad’s moves. It was a lot of work and very tough at times, but I would go through it all again if it meant Mom was still here with me 🥲.

    Deb

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  16. Very glad to hear from you – I was wondering how things were going. Shame you missed your ferry but you did a very good deed and possible saved some lives too. It could have been disastrous if the dogs had run into a car, both for them and the humans.

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    1. Hi, Anabel – Those dogs definitely would have caused an accident. No fault of their own. We found out later that they had been left on the highway and had no previous experience with traffic. We were amazed that no one else stopped. Same old story of thinking that someone else will do it. 😦

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  19. I’m glad your parents are safely in their new home. Well done. And I’m amazed that Richard was able to save the dogs. He’s a hero in my book. What a full month.

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  20. I’m happy to hear that you were able to get your mom settled in her new home, Donna, and that she has friends there with her. I’m sure that will make the transition a little easier. Still, that is a difficult job, both emotionally and physically. Sending lots of love. How nice of you and Richard to rescue those dogs and help them get to safety. It sounds like they’ve already been through so much. Thank goodness for people like you and organizations like Angel Animal Rescue. Here’s hoping that May is a more gentle month for you.

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  22. Glad you are home and that your parents are in the right place for them. It sounds like a great place with friends nearby. The dogs. Sigh. You are really good people. So many people would have driven by and let them fend for themselves. Your April was full of giving.

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  23. I’m glad you were able to help your parents (& step) move and settle as it’s such a big deal for them. That would have meant a lot. And how nice for you to know they have friends there.

    That’s great you helped those dogs. I’ve no idea how people treat them so badly. I hope they get good homes.

    #WBOYC

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  24. All things are difficult before they are easy; difficulties are meant to arouse, not discourage. Yes, earth angels, and there will be more transitions to come. My mom made the transition to an assisted living(lodge) setting 4.5 yrs ago. On March 7, she moved to a nursing home. What’s been on my calendar? I’ve spent 20/26 days at the nursing home, usually 4-5 hrs daily. I like to be there for bkft & lunch to assist with her morning care & feeding. It’s a burden & a privilege as I journey with her in this final stage of her life. I will focus on the privilege. It’s all part of life which goes on – replace the hot water tank, get new brakes, day trip to visit a friend, host the neighbors for a meal, a birthday celebration, host a Home Routes house concert, defrost the freezer, some spring yard work, walks in the spring air. Donna, you honor your mom with your presence.

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  25. oh gosh Donna, what a difficult time you have been through but your mum and stepfather look very settled in their new home. You have done an amazing job being there for them. They must feel very loved.

    and then rescuing those dogs! They look beautiful animals and how heartbreaking that they have lost their owner. I hope they find a new home soon.
    I’m looking forward to seeing more of your blogs again – we all missed you!

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  26. What a month you had, ending with a dog rescue. I’m so glad you stopped to assist them and that they are in good care now. Poor dears, they were probably looking for their owner. I hope you can put your feet up for a bit and catch your breath. Happy to see you back in blogland!!

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      1. That is terrible. Our Dot had been found alongside a busy highway at 4 months old. She was fostered by the young woman who found her until we adopted her at 8 months. Dot was afraid of white vans for a long time and we figure that was what she was in when they dropped her off. We’ve had her for 8 years now. I hope those two pups find a hood home. I read the Facebook posts about them. xo

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  27. Donna,

    I ask myself quite often “how did I ever have time to work?” When my stepdad passed, we cleaned out Mom’s home, and moved her to a retirement home where she was very happy…until we had to move her to a nursing home. That was hard for mom, my brother, and me. Keeping it all in balance is not easy, and fortunately, my brother keeps up with his share of the duties. To put life on hold, or not, is a constant conflict. We do what we can. Curling by the fireplace is great therapy. Great to have you back. Have a wonderful week! Joe

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    1. Hi, Joe – Thank you for the friend request! I hope that all is well for you and Helen. So many wonderful people that I know, including you, have been in a similar situation worrying about their parents. I have learned a great deal from each of you. I am off to check out your site now.

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  28. Pingback: This week’s small pleasures #385 – Thistles and Kiwis

  29. Your work was clearly not yet done, Donna. Kudos to you both for helping both human and animal. Both appeared to be grateful, although I assume you didn’t have to order your parents to lie down! Well done. – Marty

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    1. Hi, Marty – Awesome to hear from you. All is well with my parents. And the dogs at the rescue centtre are also doing great (although sadly not adopted yet).

      I hope everything is good there. I am off to your site now to check it out. See you there!

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      1. My parents both live on our property (they have their own cottage), and they are still a worry. They do such silly thinks like dig out all the flowers and throw their backs out for weeks 🤷‍♀️

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      2. Hi, Robbie – Your example is a great reminder that we, the lucky ones (with our parents still living), have much in common. Even with specific differences – the worry is still the same!

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  31. God has special plans in Heaven for you two. First helping your mom and step-dad move (Been there, done that); so much to do and organize. Moving parents even if they say its OK, is still a bit heartbreaking and stressful for all concerned. Then to rescue the sweet dogs who lost their owner, how tragic. You have excellent instincts and kind hearts.

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